I Wish You Were My First Love
by petitprotege
Summary: A possible Paige reaction to finding out about Emily kissing Ali in 5x06. Will Paige unintentionally get Emily to fall in love with her all over again with her charming ways or will Emily's heart sneak over to Ali?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my beloved Paily Peeps! :D Sooo, 5x05 kind of shattered my poor paily heart. :'(( if it wasn't for that scene in the locker room with Em and Paige I don't even know what I'd do lol…I mean the fact that Emily made out with the girl who made Paige's life a living hell just after their little confrontation and RIGHT AFTER they JUST hung out together…like that stunt made me doubt whether Emily ever even loved Paige…talk about a slap to the face. I don't mind Em figuring out her feelings for Ali as long as she ends up with Paige, but still, if I were Emily and I had the slightest care in the world about Paige, I would have at least done it another night! I mean, come on! Have a little respect Em…sheesh…That said I hope if/when Emily does go back to Paige I hope it's bc she WANTS Paige…I don't want Paige to win by default bc Ali screwed up with something, I really hope that's how the writers will portray it. And if they aren't going to, then I will with this story! :D The title is actually a lyric from Jennifer Lopez's new song, First Love...give it a listen if you'd like. ;) **

**So this dabble is how I would like for Paige to react to when she finds out about the kiss. I don't want her to burst into tears, at least not in front of Em. I need her to be strong and just brush it off, give Em the cold shoulder (I'm talking freezing, like frostbite worthy- cold shoulder :P) and give her some space to let her realize her mistake in letting Paige go. That's how I hope they do it on the show. So I'm kind of using BTS pics of the locker room scene in 5x06 as inspiration.**

**P.S.- Apologies for the rant. :/ I had to get some of it out lol…There was actually a lot more, but I spared you guys….You're welcome. ;P**

* * *

><p><strong>Paige POV<strong>

"You were great out there." Emily chimes from next to the lockers behind Paige.

"Thanks." Paige shoots over her shoulder before she finishes slipping on her combat boots over her dark washed jeans.

Emily tentatively walks over to the metal bench the taller athlete was sitting on before taking at seat next to the girl in the locker room.

"You're Band-Aid is coming loose." Emily gestures to the wound on the outer side of Paige's left eyebrow.

Paige raises her hand to feel the bandage beginning to peal off of her skin, "Oh, yeah I have to replace it actually."

"What happened?" Emily says trying to conceal her worry.

Paige replies nonchalantly, "Yesterday when you were with the girls, Sydney and I were playing around after some practice drills… she pushed me in the pool and I hit the side of my head."

"Oh my gosh Paige! You have to be careful!" Emily berates the girl, her worry easily breaking through her façade.

Paige brushes off the swimmer's concern, "It's fine, it's just a small cut. Relax."

"Don't leave. Let me get the first-aid kit." Emily commands as she goes to the supply closet in the locker room before Paige could decline.

Paige sighs in frustration as Emily straddles the same bench with the kit in hand, "Emily I'm fine."

"Don't argue with me. Now face me so I can get a better look." Emily shoots firmly before Paige did as she was told.

After a moment of silence, Paige subtly smirks confidently as she scans her distracted ex-girlfriend's flawless face, who was cleaning her wound with a disinfectant wipe, "You look good...as always."

Paige had begun to feel more comfortable and confident with being friends with Emily. Even though it wasn't what she wanted, it was a start. Deep down she knew the undying attraction between her and Emily would somehow bring them back together in the way she craved. With that in mind she became braver in charming her ex-girlfriend.

Emily attempts to conceal her blushing cheeks as she grins timidly while continuing to soothe the striking brunette's cut on her face, "You say it like you haven't seen me in years."

Paige shrugs nonchalantly, "I guess it kind of feels that way."

"You saw me yesterday." Emily giggles as she scrunches up the damp wipe in her hand before taking out a new bandage from the first aid kit in her lap.

The taller athlete confesses casually, "Yeah but it's not the same…I can't just look at you like that anymore."

The tanned teenager quirks her face in confusion as she places the new bandage on her ex-girlfriend's gash, "Why not?"

Paige smirks teasingly, "I think you know, why not."

A tense silence in thrust in between the two girls as Emily was pondering on how to tell Paige the news.

Paige had thought she had hit a sensitive nerve within Emily, so she silently shifted her attention to her hands resting in her lap.

_'Now is as bad of a time as ever.'_ Emily thought forlornly as she stares at Paige who began absent-mindedly playing with the hem of her t-shirt.

The bronzed beauty doesn't wait for the toned swimmer to look up at her as she announces tentatively, "Paige…there's something I've been needing to tell you…"

Paige gives her a quick glance, reassuring Emily that she was listening before returning her attention back to the hem of her shirt.

The slender brunette continues, "…I wanted you to hear it from me first, before anyone else could tell you..."

Emily doesn't wait for a response from Paige, afraid that if she did, she would chicken out in telling her.

After a beat Emily finally reveals with a sigh, "I kissed Alison."

Paige wordlessly flits her seemingly emotionless eyes up to meet Emily's for just a beat in order to acknowledge if it was truly Emily that was confessing something so mortifying to her ears and to her heart… but only to slowly and incrementally shift her sight downwards, finally resting her eyes onto the ground in front of her.

Paige didn't frown, her eyes didn't water, she didn't even flinch… she only appeared numb as her eyes were glossed over with the slightest evidence of hurt and betrayal glinting through.

Emily was surprised by Paige's reaction. She honestly didn't know what to expect but it certainly wasn't anything like this. The complete and utter silence from Paige only made her feel a million times guiltier.

The deafening stillness urged Emily to say something as she soothes her thumb once over the new bandage on Paige's face, "It's all done."

After a beat, Paige silently pushes herself up to her feet, only to wordlessly pick up her bag and walk out of the locker room, leaving Emily alone on the bench.

Emily subtly shakes her head from disbelief and guilt that she didn't want to admit to, before her blurring vision from the tears pooling in her eyes locked onto Paige walking away from her.

**P.S.S.- I'd love to know your thoughts on any of this and how you'd like Paige to react when she finds out about the kiss. Thanks for reading! :)**

**P.S.S.S- I'll probably be updating Chasing You Forever, tomorrow. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there! :) So I had written this a while ago thinking this would be a cool scene on the show (though it would never happen), but I totally forgot to upload it. That being said, I apologize for my poor vocabulary and story telling skills that I had at that time, not that they're much better now lol … This story was originally going to be one of those longer well planned out fics, but I think I'm going to make it much shorter (similar to 'Chasing You Forever') but have it composed of scenes I would have liked to have seen on the show that would probably never happen. (The scenes will still relate to one another.) I'm doing this because most of my attention is on ******'Lingering Stares, Lingering Feelings' because there are already a lot more elements to it.** Once I've finished with 'LS,LF' I'll probably start with another fic that's longer. :) Anyway, I hope you enjoy and as always, thank you so much for reading and your constant support! Love you guys! **

**P.S.- I agreed with all of your reviews! I'm happy and relieved to know I'm not the only one who feels that way about what's going down on the show. :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"So why are we going to the local boxing gym?" Emily questions Aria, as they both walk down the sidewalk in stride with Spencer.<p>

Aria rolls her eyes for having to repeat herself from earlier today, "Em I already told you, we're going because that's where Holden used to practice for his fight competitions. And I thought that maybe Jake could tell us when he last saw him or where he disappeared to."

"Do you really think Holden is going to lead us to 'A'?" Emily poses skeptically.

"Or are you just trying to make up an excuse to see your hot ex?" Spencer teases pointedly.

Aria swiftly defends herself, "I'm not! We've been over for a while now… And there is a possibility that if we find Holden, he could point us in the right direction to 'A'. I mean Em, you said it yourself, he was with you that night you were drugged up and he had the same stamp on his hand as Noel. Let's face it, Noel Kahn is never up to any good."

Emily sighs in defeat as she opens the main entrance door to the local Martial Arts Clubhouse, "I guess we might as well try."

"Sure, it's not like we have any other more important leads at the moment." Spencer quips sarcastically as she enters after Aria.

"Do you have any better ideas?" Aria crosses her arms, challenging her best friend.

"Yeah actually, I do. We should be going after this Cyrus guy! You know, the guy who only had Ali's story perfectly memorized from a tape recorder that is now missing from my room!" Spencer points out indignantly.

"Oh okay Spencer, you just-" Aria quips back mockingly before Emily quickly interrupts the two arguing teenagers.

"Okay, stop it! Both of you. We're already here, so let's just go in and ask Jake if he's seen Holden recently and be done with it." Emily asserts their itinerary for the moment.

"Fine." Aria complies.

"Fine." Spencer echoes her friend.

The main room was quite empty except for the shirtless glistening hunk of a guy, whom Aria quickly identified as Jake and a girl with an elegantly lean chiseled body in only a sports bra and a pair of running shorts he was practicing with. The mystery girl who felt all too familiar couldn't be pinpointed by Aria or Spencer, as her back was facing the group of friends. Although, Emily could instantly identify whom the girl was.

"Woah. Who is that? …Is that…" Aria poses with admiration at the slender brunette's talents, having a slight idea of who is might be.

Spencer scrunches her eyebrows as she digests the appearance of the strong yet still feminine girl, "Lean body and insanely talented at athletics… for some reason it kind of reminds me of-"

"Paige?" Emily widens her eyes in surprise to see her ex-girlfriend, her heart hammering against her chest. She could recognize that deliciously toned back and those sexy sculpted shoulders anywhere.

The swimmer's heavenly voice completely jerks Paige's attention from her spar fight with Jake, forcing her to turn in the direction she heard her name being called from.

"Emily?" Paige poses utterly dumbfounded as she meets the bronzed beauty's surprised gaze. This was the last place she thought she would bump into Emily.

Jake deviously moves to jab a distracted Paige in the jaw in order to teach her an important lesson when it came to any genre of Martial Arts. "Rule number one: never take your eyes off y-" He begins to warn the girl.

"Pai-" Emily yells in attempt to warn her ex-girlfriend before her jaw drops in shock, as well as Aria's and Spencer's, awestruck by what had just taken place.

Paige caches his jab with her hand before twisting Jake's arm at an un-natural angle, forcing the trained Martial Artist to flip forward onto his back in order to straighten it out, only for Paige to purposely twist it again, rather feebly while he was laying on the ground.

As Jake was splayed out on the cushioned floor he meets the green-eyed girl's shocked stare. "Aria?" Jake scrunches his eyebrows from the minor pain Paige was causing him, plus from the confusion as to why Aria would be here.

"Jake." Aria greets the athlete with a nervous smile.

"Spencer!" Spencer chimes her own name cheerfully before getting four pairs of questioning eyes focused on her causing her to shrug in defense, "What? I felt left out."

Paige twists Jake's arm slightly more forcefully in order to remind him of his compromising position and as a warning not to test her again.

Jake winces, "Ah! Okay okay, you win! Now help me up, McCullers."

Paige smirks triumphantly as she offers both her hands to the talented fighter, aiding him to his feet. The two shirtless and gracefully glistening athletes saunter in step, up to the three best friends.

"Nice moves, Paige." Spencer smirks in recognition at the sculpted swimmer.

"Thanks Spence." Paige rasps back with a smirk of her own before greeting Aria.

_'Those moves don't compare to the ones she keeps for the bedroom...' _Emily involuntarily thought suggestively. She was having a hard time breathing, the sight of Paige all hot and sweaty started to make her all hot and sweaty in an entirely different way. _'Stop it. She's not your girlfriend anymore. …Yeah, all thanks to you.'_

Jake clears his throat before he greets the three girls standing in front of him politely, "Hi ladies. What can I help you all with?" His voice swiftly tugging Emily back to reality.

Aria was about to answer but Spencer took the initiative to reply as Aria was having a hard time responding, as was Emily due to the view of their attractive exes, "We actually wanted to ask you a few questions about Holden." Spencer affirms kindly, trying to keep herself from rolling her eyes at how useless Emily and Aria were at the moment.

Paige took the new information as an excuse to exit the conversation as she concluded the discussion would most likely be none of her business.

The taller swimmer politely excuses herself, "Sorry to interrupt but, Jake I'm gonna go work on some stretches."

Jake nods, "Yeah sure, go ahead. I'll be there in a sec."

Paige makes her way to her duffle bag that was lying on the floor near where her and Jake were working out together earlier, deciding to do a few stretches there.

"I'll be right back…" Emily mutters distractedly, her gaze locked on to the sexy athlete that was Paige McCullers, drying her face with a white towel. She finally builds the courage to walk over to the slender brunette.

"Hey." Emily chirps tentatively.

Paige glances up only to see the ever so stunning Emily Fields. "Hey." She replies hoarsely as she straightens her body to its standard posture.

Her voice sends shivers up Emily's spine, the sensation surprising her as to how much the girl's voice alone still had such an affect on her. Although deep down she knew she wasn't all that surprised. Her lack in her ability to stabilize her breathing when she saw Paige as she walked into the gym had reminded her that.

Emily attempts at small talk, all in the while genuinely intrigued, "I never knew you were into martial arts…"

The taller swimmer shrugs, trying to look anywhere but at her ex, "It's more of a recent hobby."

The raven-haired girl raises her eyebrows, silently impressed, "By the way you were fighting… seems like you're a pro."

"I guess I just had a bit of extra steam to blow off today." Paige says moving to sit on the padded floor, her forearms resting on her knees. Her voice, aloof yet still polite the entire time, hoping Emily would get the message that she didn't want to talk.

Emily ignores the fact that Paige was probably referring to what Emily had told her that day in locker room and instead urges her opinion, "No… it's just that you're a natural at it. Just like you are at pretty much anything." She hoped her sincere compliment would get Paige to open up but the effect was quite the opposite- she remained completely quiet as she moved to tie her shoe. The silence between them, suffocating.

Emily forced herself to keep from fidgeting. "So…how have you been?" Emily asked before she lost her nerve.

"Great." Paige says monotonously, not bothering to make eye contact with Emily. The last thing she wanted was to talk to the girl that completely shattered her heart.

"Great." Emily echoes sincerely, yet Paige could detect the sadness in her voice.

Her conscious convinced her that she should cut Emily some slack, so she cooperated, "…How about you?" She poses gently, connecting gazes with the girl just long enough to ask the question.

Emily was taken by surprise with Paige's question before she recuperated and answered softly, "I've been okay I guess…"

"Shouldn't you be listening in on what you guys came here to find out?" Paige nods with a small smile in the direction where Aria and Spencer were speaking with Jake.

"They'll fill me in later." Emily shrugs, not wanting to leave as she realized her and Paige were making the slightest progress just now.

"So…" Emily starts not knowing where to take the conversation.

"Emily, what're you doing?" Paige finally asks the question that's been nagging at her lips as soon as Emily started talking to her earlier.

Emily's brows crease, puzzled at what the girl was denoting to, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you here talking to me?" Paige poses rather calmly, despite the bitterness she was feeling towards the swimmer. It had only been a week since Emily told her one of the worst things she could hear.

Emily flinches, hurt by the sudden realization of what her and Paige's relationship has come to. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to." She says above a whisper.

"It's not that you're not allowed to, it's just- what's the point? We're over." Paige points out, keeping the malice out of her voice.

Emily's throat constrict as she looks away. "I was just being friendly- polite." She adds meeting Paige's gaze again.

Paige quietly scoffs as she moves to play with the towel in her hands. "That ship has sailed a long time ago." Paige mutters more to herself yet Emily hears her anyway.

The bronzed beauty crosses her arms defensively, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Paige subtly shakes her head once, "Forget it."

"No. Tell me." Emily insists.

Paige finally looks up meeting the girl's hurt gaze already on her. "Look, let's just skip all the bull and move on from each other, okay?" The swimmer stresses more than offers.

Emily shakes her head in disagreement, her throat constricting further. "That's not what I want."

Paige looks away, hoping Emily couldn't see the forlornness in her eyes. "I'll be the first to tell you… you don't always get what you want in life, Emily." The taller swimmer states evenly.

"Paige, I…I want us to be friends." Emily admits tentatively.

The taller swimmer scoffs, amused, "You and I both know that won't work."

"Why not?" Emily asks, trying to conceal the sadness in her eyes.

The taller swimmer takes a moment, studying Emily's eyes before finally answering the girl. "You know why." Paige husks as she shoots the girl a subtle pointed gaze.

"Can we please try?" Emily asks gently, staring deeply into the girl's eyes. She missed the times she would get lost in them.

Paige silently shakes her head before replying. "I can't do that." She confesses hoarsely.

"Paige-"

"Em." Spencer calls out, stealing the girl's attention, signifying that they were ready to leave. Paige takes the opportunity to stand up to her feet.

"You better go." Paige says barely above a whisper with a tight smile.

As she returns her attention on the slightly taller swimmer, Paige's newfound position takes Emily by surprise. She even missed just standing this close to Paige.

Emily nods reluctantly, "Yeah."

She timidly continues after a beat, "I guess um…I guess I'll see you around." Paige not able to decipher whether Emily was asking or just telling her. Paige wordlessly nods thinking it would be the safest response.

As the three best friends left, Paige took it upon her to sit back down on the cushioned floor. She felt her knees weaken from remembering Emily was no longer hers.

Jake moves to sit beside the girl, nudging her shoulder playfully, "So you and Emily Fields, huh? I knew you had game, McCullers, but I had no idea you had that much game."

Paige let's out a chuckle before a sad smile curled onto her lips, "Don't get too excited. We're not together anymore."

Jake frowns in shock, "What? Why? What happened?"

Paige looks away as she shrugs her eyebrows, "It's complicated."

Jake shakes his head. "That's too bad. You two look really good together. I could have sworn by the way she was looking at you, that she was really in to you." He points out.

Paige shrugs, "Maybe…but unfortunately that's not enough to make a relationship work… as you've probably already realized that with Aria."

Jake nods in agreement, "I've realized, alright… She was just so hung up on that teacher…"

"Apparently there's no harder competition than someone's first love." Paige agrees knowingly.

Jake scoffs, "Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice."

One of the biggest and main reasons Paige dreaded Alison coming back was that she knew the blond was Emily's first love just as Emily was Paige's. Which meant Paige knew and understood every sentiment Emily felt towards Alison…because she would feel the same feelings towards Emily.

That's what had been terrifying her the entire time. Unless Emily was completely over Ali, Paige knew that regardless of how many times Alison could and would inevitably mess up, it was only a matter of time until Emily would forgive her and welcome her back with open arms. And that realization had made her feel sick in the worst of ways.

* * *

><p><strong>Emily POV<strong>

"Hey!" Hanna greets Emily excitedly as the swimmer flops onto her bed next to her. "…Okay what's with the long face?" Hanna asks after noticing Emily's not so cheerful mood.

"I saw Paige today." Emily groaned as she covered her face with one of Hanna's lavender colored pillows. The sadness evident in her voice.

"How'd it go?" Hanna asks knowingly, scrunching her eyebrows with concern.

Emily moves the pillow off her face in order to reply. "What do you think?" Emily poses wryly, thinking her foul mood was obvious enough.

"Right." Hanna acknowledges with a tight smile. "What happened?" Hanna asks gently.

Emily sighs, "We went to the Martial Arts Gym to ask Jake questions about Holden. And she was there."

"Did she say anything?" Hanna asks as she adjusts to sit cross-legged on the mattress so she could see the swimmer clearly.

"She wouldn't have if I hadn't." Emily said as she stared at the ceiling numbly, feeling her throat constrict.

"No surprise there." Hanna mutters as she shrugs her eyebrows, earning daggers from her best friend.

Hanna raises her hands in surrender. "Look I'm just saying if I was Paige, I wouldn't want to talk to you either." The blond admits bluntly.

"That's not fair." Emily says brokenly, guilt-ridden.

"Em-"

Emily sighs in frustration. "I know what I did, okay? But I'm confused, I'm still trying to figure everything out."

Hanna nods understandingly after a moment of silence, "Okay."

"What did you guys talk about?" The fashionable blond asks gently.

Emily shrugs, "Not much. Ultimately, I asked her if we could be friends and she said no."

"Well obviously." The blond answers with a roll of her eyes, earning at questioning stare from Emily.

Hanna looks at the swimmer dubiously. "Em, you and everyone else knows you and Paige can never just be friends."

"Why not?" Emily asks, despite knowing the answer.

Hanna sighs, "Because you two just have this thing. …This unbreakable pull towards each other…that just so happens to make you want to rip each other's clothes off...like all the time…it's almost weird." The blonde points out casually.

"So what do I do?" Emily asks, feeling defeated.

Hanna shrugs, "It depends. What do you want?"

Emily shakes her head, utterly frustrated with her indecisiveness. "I don't know… because-"

"Because of Alison." Hanna guesses.

"Han-" Emily pleads, not wanting to open up that can of worms.

Hanna quickly cuts off her best friend. "No, Em. You can't actually believe she has feelings for you. She's playing you." Hanna says firmly.

"No she's not. She wouldn't do that to me." Emily argues.

"She's done it before." Hanna points out with a frown, feeling herself becoming angry at how Alison toyed and continues to toy with Emily's feelings.

"It's different this time." Emily utters, looking away.

"How is it different this time?!" Hanna yells, aggravated that her friend was being so naïve.

Emily flinches at Hanna's outburst. "Calm down. Why are you getting so mad?" Emily asks worriedly.

"Because you're missing it, Emily!" Hanna shouts in frustration.

"Missing what?!" Emily echoes the girl's tone of voice.

Hanna rolls her eyes in disbelief, "For the love of God, open your eyes, Em. Paige is in love with you and would do anything for you. Why would you consider anyone else?"

"Because she went behind my back. She revealed that Ali was alive when I specifically asked her not to." Emily reminded the girl irritably.

Hanna swiftly defends Paige. "She did it to protect you. She was coming from a good place."

Emily frowns, angry with how quickly Hanna defended her ex-girlfriend. "Why are you taking her side? You're my best friend, you're supposed to be siding with me!"

Hanna's eyes widen with disbelief at how Emily was taking everything the wrong way. "I am siding with you! I want what's best for you! That's why I want you to pick Paige!"

"Well it's not about what you want, it's about what I want!" The swimmer asserts firmly.

"Exactly! So why won't you just admit that you want Paige! Why are you letting your pride keep you from being happy, keep you from what you really want?!" Hanna asks incredulously. The blue-eyed beauty's question hanging heavily in the air as a tense silence was thrust upon the room.

"I'm not doing this anymore." Emily whispers as she moves to get off the bed, fed up with the argument.

Hanna sighs, feeling guilty for going off on her best friend, "Em-"

"Don't." Emily demands shakily.

Hanna clutches Emily's wrist before she could leave. "Look, Em. I just want you to be happy, okay? Whether that's with Alison- which I don't think it is, or if it's with Paige, or if it's with neither of them…I just want you to feel happy again. Okay?" The blond poses tenderly.

"Okay." Emily whispers, tears brimming at her eyes as she let Hanna pull her into a hug. Deep down under all the confusion, frustration and indecisiveness, Emily knew her heart lied with Paige, but she couldn't ignore her unresolved feelings for Ali.

* * *

><p><strong>P.S.S.- Any thoughtsfeedback is always graciously welcomed. Thank you so much for reading! As it will always be as long as petitprotege is involved- this is a Paily story, so no worries. ;)**


End file.
